Betta Fish: Had to say goodbye to Winston today. It feels awful.

The coolest fish I've ever owned.

A Facebook marketplace rescue that was in my care for about 5-6 months.

He came is a small sad bowl, I dropped $300 on a 10 gal tank with as many live plans and accommodations as I could. He was so happy!

He ate all my meals with me at home, would come say hi every time you sat at his table, and would swim through my fingers if I made a hoop shape.

I never knew fish could have this much personality. I loved this little guy so much.

He was in his previous owners care for 1.5 years, a petco fish cared for by a child. I can assume he was possibly at least 2.5 to 3 years old at his time of passing.

He started showing signs of age/illness slowly. I thought it was an illness and tried to treat with medication before I realized he might just be getting old. He didn't have many symptoms besides being lethargic and losing his vibrancy. Then the swim bladder issues started so I added extra fish rests and hammocks. He lasted about a month in his little fish hospice before we decided we needed to euthanize him. He couldn't eat his food, he was always sleeping and gasping, it was just an awful sight.

Warning. Below I'm going to discuss how he was euthanized and what didn't seem to go well.

I am not sure how I feel about clove oil as a humane form of passing. I followed the directions meticulously and it still seemed to go wrong. I added it slowly and carefully. He unfortunately woke up about 30 min in (after adding the recommended amount, well mixed with water over the course of 30 min). He was not having a good time (he began swimming and thrashing, i felt absolutely awful)…. we opted for a much faster form when we saw he was struggling and not passing peacefully, which was unfortunately blunt force.

I am so sad.

I miss him so much already.

Sometimes I wonder if I did the right thing, I know my intentions were in good faith but it just feels so awful still. I worry I did not care for him well enough and that he maybe was sick, but I put everything I had into his care. His water parameters were perfect, always. Tank was clean and cycled, tons of hides, plants, and betta logs. It was a perfect temp, filtered, ideal size….. I don't know.

I miss you Winston.