hi reddit, im in a bit of a tough spot and was wondering if anyone had any advice.
TLDR; my friend has been neglecting his betta fish. i told him id mentor him in fishkeeping, how do i tell him im going to take over care for the tank? (without exploding the relationship)
ive been fishkeeping for a few years now and have two really well established beautiful tanks. my friend said he wanted to get into the hobby, so i told him id mentor him. the deal was that the tank is his responsibility and id give him pointers and remind him if hes forgetting a step.
about a week after we brought the betta home he basically forgot she existed. shes lucky if she gets a water change once a month. all but one plant died, i dont think hes touched the filter media ever.
shes very dull, didnt take breakfast and is hanging out at the bottom of the tank. originally my outlook was "his fish, his problem" bc he wont learn if i step in every time, but ive grown really attached to her. i did an emergency water change, when i vacuumed the gravel the water came up MUDDY looking. it smelled awful.
im going to test the water in a little bit, and im running out to grab her some blackworms which are her favorite to see if she'll eat. im also grabbing those in the tank quarantine things to keep her near the surface and some more plants. she also has a stunted? injured? fin on one side, so i dont think we should be making it harder for her to swim to the surface
this roommate doesnt take criticism well, nor confrontation. im not sure how to approach the situation, hes at work right now, so i dont want to send him a text or anything. but when he gets off, do i just put my foot down? or ask him nicely? im not really sure
Posted by horseonthemoon
6 Comments
Just do it I doubt your friend will care
Have you had conversations about a fish is a pet, no different than any other pet? Just because it’s cheap to own a fish doesn’t mean it’s not a living creature. It’s well-being and life is entirely determined by the level of care you give. Does your roommate understand what he’s even doing wrong? Is he just ignorant to the problem? Those conversations should happen to help him learn/value the process of care before you just take over imo.
you could potentially just put it quite bluntly that he’s not taking care of the fish but also phrase it in a way where you say how this hurts your feelings to see this and phrase it nicely that you want to take over thr fish care?
My feeling is that once you just start doing it, he won’t care. Please save this sweet baby.
Maybe try smthn like “hey, I can tell you’ve been a lot busier lately, could I take the fish off your hands?” Maybe? Make it seem like a favor to him without stepping on his toes?
These are some pretty bold statements being made after you admit you haven’t tested the water yet. Huge filtered tank with clearly melted plants if it’s a new tank does not scream “fish is in danger!” to me without any evidence. If you already have tanks I can’t imagine you let him use a brand new filter without using any of your media for a jump start; if you didn’t give him that head start I’m curious if you even wanted him to succeed. If you did give him the jump start I sincerely doubt that Betta is in any danger being solo in there.